I wrote this post to say what I wanted my loved ones to know. Maybe some of you can relate…
Dear Loved One who may not understand, I know I’ve been distant lately, maybe even a bit irritable and for that I’m sorry. I know you don’t think I’ve noticed but I see the frustration and the hurt in your eyes each time you realize I’m not better. I don’t want to keep lying to you but I want to protect you from this as long as I can. I can’t let my issues become your burdens, so you see my silence and lies come from a place of protection.
I know my cutting scares you and sometimes it scares me too but I feel it’s all I have. My depression and anxiety literally feel like weights crushing my chest. No, I’m not being dramatic or overusing the terms to cover up my inability to cope with life. I’m honestly letting you know I’m struggling and it hurts. I hurt so deeply; cutting is always there when I need it even if I know I’ll feel guilty then I’ll vow to stop .
Unfortunately, that’s the cycle I’m stuck in and maybe I’m not ready to get help but I don’t want you to give up on me. Please don’t, I’ve had so many people in my life give up on me. I’ve given up on but I need you to believe in me. I guess I’m just asking that you love me through this and be patient with me; I’ll be patient with you too. I know this isn’t easy. Watching me destroy myself slowly but I promise I won’t stop trying to heal. Well, I guess that’s all I have to say, till next time. Sincerely, Warrior
Asking the question, why don’t you just stop ? It doesn’t help. Self harm is a complex issue, typically a symptom of a bigger problem. If you’re self harming, please seek help. There’s no shame in reaching out. Dealing with self harm is hard for all involved but patience is key.
To all who read my blog, thank you and stay strong.
❤️❤️❤️